18 And I wish, O Emperor, that you had not given sentence that I should go into banishment whither I would. I went out daily. No one guarded me. You ought to have appointed me a place wherever you would, for I offered myself for anything. But now the clergy say to me, "There is not much difference whether you voluntarily 429leave the altar of Christ or betray it, for if you leave it you will betray it."
Source: Letters (New Advent)