34 Paul the Apostle censures evil unmarried women, curious and prating, and says that this fault comes of idleness. “But at the same time,” says he, “being idle they learn to go about to houses: but not only idle, but curious also and prating, speaking what they ought not.” Of these he had said above, “But younger widows avoid; for when they have past their time in delights, they wish to wed in Christ; having condemnation, in that they have made void their first faith:” that is, have not continued in that, which they had vowed at the first.
And yet he says not, they marry, but “they wish to marry.” For many of them are recalled from marrying, not by love of a noble purpose, but by fear of open shame, which also itself comes of pride, whereby persons fear to displease men more than God. These, therefore, who wish to marry, and do not marry on this account, because they cannot with impunity, who would do better to marry than to be burned, that is, than to be laid waste in their very conscience by the hidden flame of lust, who repent of their profession, and who feel their confession irksome; unless they correct and set right their heart, and by the fear of God again overcome their lust, must be accounted among the dead; whether they pass their time in delights, whence the Apostle says, “But she who passes her time in delights, living, is dead;” or whether in labors and fastings, which are useless where there is no correction of the heart, and serve rather for display than amendment.
I do not, for my part, impose on such a great regard for humility, in whom pride itself is confounded, and bloodstained by wound of conscience. Nor on such as are drunken, or covetous, or who are lying in any other kind whatever of damnable disease, at the same time that they have profession of bodily continence, and through perverse manners are at variance with their own name, do I impose this great anxiety about pious humility: unless haply in these evils they shall dare even to make a display of themselves, unto whom it is not enough, that the punishments of these are deferred.
Nor am I treating of these, in whom there is a certain aim of pleasing, either by more elegant dress than the necessity of so great profession demands, or by remarkable manner of binding the head, whether by bosses of hair swelling forth, or by coverings so yielding, that the fine network below appears: unto these we must give precepts, not as yet concerning humility, but concerning chastity itself, or virgin modesty. Give me one who makes profession of perpetual continence, and who is free from these, and all such faults and spots of conduct; for this one I fear pride, for this so great good I am in alarm from the swelling of arrogance.
The more there is in any one on account of which to be self-pleased, the more I fear, lest, by pleasing self, he please not Him, Who “resists the proud, but unto the humble gives grace.”
Source: On Holy Virginity (New Advent)