Apology for himself against the Books of Rufinus

¹ I have read the letter which you in your wisdom have written me. You inveigh against me, and, though you once praised me and called me true partner and brother, you now write books to summon me to reply to the charges with which you terrify me. I see that in you are fulfilled the words of Solomon: “In the mouth of the foolish is the rod of contumely,” and “A fool receives not the words of prudence, unless you say what is passing in his heart;” and the words of Isaiah: “The fool will speak folly, and his heart will understand vain things, to practise iniquity and speak falsehood against the Lord.”

For what need was there for you to send me whole volumes full of accusation and malediction, and to bring them before the public, when in the end of your letter you threaten me with death if I dare to reply to your slanders— I beg pardon— to your praises? For your praises and your accusations amount to the same thing; from the same fountain proceed both sweet and bitter. I beg you to set me the example of the modesty and shamefacedness which you recommend to me; you accuse another of lying: cease to be a liar yourself.

I wish to give no one an occasion of stumbling, and I will not become your accuser; for I have not to consider merely what you deserve but what is becoming in me. I tremble at our Savior's words. “Whosoever shall cause one of these little ones that believe in me to stumble, it were better for him that a great mill stone were hanged about his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea;” and “Woe unto the world because of occasions of stumbling: for it must needs be that occasions arise; but woe to the man through whom the occasion comes.”

It would have been possible for me too to pile up falsehoods against you and to say that I had heard or seen what no one had observed, so that among the ignorant my effrontery might be taken for veracity, and my violence for resolution. But far be it from me to be an imitator of you, and to do myself what I denounce in you. He who is capable of doing filthy things may use filthy words. “The evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth that which is evil; for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

You may count it as good fortune that one whom you once called friend but now accuse has no mind to make vile imputations against you. I say this not from any dread of the sword of your accusation, but because I prefer to be accused than to be the accuser, to suffer an injury than to do one. I know the precept of the Apostle: “Dearly beloved avenge not yourselves but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written Vengeance is mine, I will repay says the Lord. Therefore, if your enemy hunger feed him, if he thirst give him drink; for in so doing you shall heap coals of fire upon his head.” For he that avenges himself cannot claim the vindication of the Lord.