38 Look to yourself and glory in your own success and not in others' failure. Some women care for the flesh and reckon up their income and daily expenditure: such are no fit models for you. Judas was a traitor, but the eleven apostles did not waver. Phygellus and Alexander made shipwreck; but the rest continued to run the race of faith. Say not: “So-and-so enjoys her own property, she is honored of men, her brothers and sisters come to see her. Has she then ceased to be a virgin?” In the first place, it is doubtful if she is a virgin. For “the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks upon the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” Again, she may be a virgin in body and not in spirit. According to the apostle, a true virgin is “holy both in body and in spirit.” Lastly, let her glory in her own way. Let her override Paul's opinion and live in the enjoyment of her good things. But you and I must follow better examples.
Set before you the blessed Mary, whose surpassing purity made her meet to be the mother of the Lord. When the angel Gabriel came down to her, in the form of a man, and said: “Hail, you that are highly favored; the Lord is with you,” she was terror-stricken and unable to reply, for she had never been saluted by a man before. But, on learning who he was, she spoke, and one who had been afraid of a man conversed fearlessly with an angel. Now you, too, may be the Lord's mother. “Take you a great roll and write in it with a man's pen Maher-shalal-hash-baz.” And when you have gone to the prophetess, and have conceived in the womb, and have brought forth a son, say: “Lord, we have been with child by your fear, we have been in pain, we have brought forth the spirit of your salvation, which we have wrought upon the earth.” Then shall your Son reply: “Behold my mother and my brethren.” And He whose name you have so recently inscribed upon the table of your heart, and have written with a pen upon its renewed surface — He, after He has recovered the spoil from the enemy, and has spoiled principalities and powers, nailing them to His cross — having been miraculously conceived, grows up to manhood; and, as He becomes older, regards you no longer as His mother, but as His bride. To be as the martyrs, or as the apostles, or as Christ, involves a hard struggle, but brings with it a great reward.
All such efforts are only of use when they are made within the church's pale; we must celebrate the passover in the one house, we must enter the ark with Noah, we must take refuge from the fall of Jericho with the justified harlot, Rahab. Such virgins as there are said to be among the heretics and among the followers of the infamous Manes must be considered, not virgins, but prostitutes. For if— as they allege— the devil is the author of the body, how can they honor that which is fashioned by their foe? No; it is because they know that the name virgin brings glory with it, that they go about as wolves in sheep's clothing. As antichrist pretends to be Christ, such virgins assume an honorable name, that they may the better cloak a discreditable life. Rejoice, my sister; rejoice, my daughter; rejoice, my virgin; for you have resolved to be, in reality, that which others insincerely feign.
Source: Letters (New Advent)