Homilies on First Corinthians

Thus also Jonathan loved David; and hearing his father say, “Thou son of damsels that have run away from their homes, thou womanly bred,” he was not ashamed, though the words be full of great reproach. For what he means is this: “Thou son of mean harlots who are mad after men, who run after the passers-by, thou unnerved and effeminate wretch, who hast nothing of a man, but livest to the shame of yourself and the mother who bare you.” What then? Did he grieve at these things, and hide his face, and turn away from his beloved? Nay, quite the contrary; he displayed his fondness as an ornament. And yet the one was at that time a king, and a king's son, even Jonathan; the other a fugitive and a wanderer, I mean, David. But not even thus was he ashamed of his friendship. For love does not behave itself unseemly. Yea, this is its wonderful quality that not only it suffers not the injured to grieve and feel galled, but even disposes him to rejoice. Accordingly, he too, of whom we are speaking, after all these things, just as though he had a crown put on him, went away and fell on David's neck. For love knows not what sort of thing shame may be. Therefore it glories in those things for which another hides his face. Since the shame is, not to know how to love; not, when you love, to incur danger and endure all for the beloved.

But when I say, “all,” do not suppose I mean things injurious also; for example, assisting a youth in a love affair, or whatsoever hurtful thing any one may beseech another to do for him. For such a person does not love, and this I showed you lately from the Egyptian woman: since in truth he only is the lover who seeks what is profitable to the beloved: so that if any pursue not this, even what is right and good, though he make ten thousand professions of love, he is more hostile than any enemies.

So also Rebecca aforetime, because she exceedingly clung to her son, both perpetrated a theft, and was not ashamed of detection, neither was she afraid, though the risk was no common one; but even when her son raised scruples to her, “upon me be your curse, my son,” she said. Do you see even in a woman the soul of the Apostle how, even as Paul chose, (if one may compare a small thing with a great,) to be anathema for the Jews' sake, so also she, that her son might be blessed, chose to be no less than accursed. And the good things she gave up to him, for she was not, it seems, to be blessed with him, but the evils she was prepared to endure herself alone: nevertheless, she rejoiced, and hasted, and this where so great a danger lay before her, and she was grieved at the delay of the business: for she feared lest Esau might anticipate them and render her wisdom vain. Wherefore also she cuts short the conversation and urges on the young man, and just permitting him to answer what had been said, states a reason sufficient to persuade him. For she said not, “you say these things without reason, and in vain you fear, your father having grown old and being deprived of clearness of sight:” but what? “upon me be your curse, my son. Only do thou not mar the plot, nor lose the object of our chase, nor give up the treasure.”

And this very Jacob, served he not for wages with his kinsmen twice seven years? Was he not together with the bondage subject to mockery in respect of that trick? What then? Did he feel the mockery? Did he count it behaving himself unseemly, that being a freeman, and free born, and well brought up, he endured slaves' treatment among his own kinsmen: a thing which is wont to be most vexing, when one receives opprobrious treatment from one's friends? In no wise. And the cause was his love, which made the time, though long, appear short. “For they were,” says he, “in his sight as a few days.” So far was he from being galled and blushing for this his bondage. Justly then said the blessed Paul, “Love does not behave itself unseemly.”

3. 1. “Seeks not its own, is not provoked.”

Thus having said, “does not behave itself unseemly,” he shows also the temper of mind, on account of which she does not behave herself unseemly. And what is that temper? That she “seeks not her own.” For the beloved she esteems to be all, and then only “behaves herself unseemly,” when she cannot free him from such unseemliness; so that if it be possible by her own unseemliness to benefit her beloved, she does not so much as count the thing unseemliness; for the other party thereafter is yourself, when you love: since this is friendship, that the lover and the beloved should no longer be two persons divided, but in a manner one single person; a thing which no how takes place except from love. Seek not therefore your own, that you may find your own. For he that seeks his own, finds not his own. Wherefore also Paul said, “Let no man seek his own, but each his neighbor's good.” For your own profit lies in the profit of your neighbor, and his in yours. As therefore one that had his own gold buried in the house of his neighbor, should he refuse to go and there seek and dig it up, will never seek it; so likewise here, he that will not seek his own profit in the advantage of his neighbor, will not attain unto the crowns due to this: God Himself having therefore so disposed of it, in order that we should be mutually bound together: and even as one awakening a slumbering child to follow his brother, when he is of himself unwilling, places in the brother's hand that which he desires and longs for, that through desire of obtaining it he may pursue after him that holds it, and accordingly so it takes place: thus also here, each man's own profit has he given to his neighbor, that hence we may run after one another, and not be torn asunder.

And if you will, see this also in our case who address you. For my profit depends on you, and your advantage on me. Thus, on the one hand it profits you to be taught the things that please God, but with this have I been entrusted, that you might receive it from me, and therefore might be compelled to run unto me; and on the other hand it profits me that you should be made better: for the reward which I shall receive for this will be great; but this again lies in you; and therefore am I compelled to follow after you that you may be better, and that I may receive my profit from you. Wherefore also Paul says, “For what is my hope? Are not even ye?” And again, “My hope, and my joy, and the crown of my rejoicing.” So that the joy of Paul was the disciples, and his joy they had. Therefore he even wept when he saw them perishing.

Again their profit depended on Paul: wherefore he said, For the hope of Israel I am bound with this chain. And again, These things I endure for the elect's sakes that they may obtain eternal life. And this one may see in worldly things. “For the wife,” says he, “has not power over her own body, nor yet the husband; but the wife over the husband's, and the husband over the wife's.” So likewise we, when we wish to bind any together, do this. We leave neither of them in his own power, but extending a chain between them, we cause the one to be holden of the other, and the other of the one. Will you also see this in the case of governors? He that judges sits not in judgment for himself, but seeking the profit of his neighbor. The governed on the other hand, seek the profit of the governor by their attendance, by their ministry, by all the other things. Soldiers take up their arms for us, for on our account they peril themselves. We for them are in straits; for from us are their supplies.

But if you say, “each one does this seeking his own,” this also say I, but I add, that by the good of another one's own is won. Thus both the soldier, unless he fight for them that support him, has none that ministers to him for this end: and this same on the other hand, unless he nourish the soldier, has none to arm himself in his behalf.