Homilies on Second Timothy

I will now cite you from the Scriptures a wonderful instance of friendship. Jonathan, the son of Saul, loved David, and his soul was so knit to him, that David in mourning over him says, “Your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. You were wounded unto death.” What then? Did he envy David? Not at all, though he had great reason. How? Because, by the events he perceived that the kingdom would pass from himself to him, yet he felt nothing of the kind. He did not say, “This is he that is depriving me of my paternal kingdom,” but he favored his obtaining the sovereignty; and he spared not his father for the sake of his friend. Yet let not any one think him a parricide, for he did not injure his father, but restrained his unjust attempts. He rather spared than injured him. He did not permit him to proceed to an unjust murder. He was many times willing even to die for his friend, and far from accusing him, he restrained even his father's accusation. Instead of envying, he joined in obtaining the kingdom for him. Why do I speak of wealth? He even sacrificed his own life for him. For the sake of his friend, he did not even stand in awe of his father, since his father entertained unjust designs, but his conscience was free from all such. Thus justice was conjoined with friendship.

Such then was Jonathan. Let us now consider David. He had no opportunity of returning the recompense, for his benefactor was taken away before the reign of David, and slain before he whom he had served came to his kingdom. What then? As far as it was allowed him and left in his power, let us see how that righteous man manifested his friendship. “Very pleasant,” he says, “have you been to me, Jonathan; you were wounded unto death.” Is this all? This indeed was no slight tribute, but he also frequently rescued from danger his son and his grandson, in remembrance of the kindness of the father, and he continued to support and protect his children, as he would have done those of his own son. Such friendship I would wish all to entertain both towards the living and the dead.

Let women listen to this (for it is on their account especially that I refer to the departed) who enter into a second marriage, and defile the bed of their deceased husband, though they have loved him. Not that I forbid a second marriage, or pronounce it a proof of wantonness, for Paul does not allow me, stopping my mouth by saying to women, “If she marry she has not sinned.” Yet let us attend to what follows, “But she is happier if she so abide.” This state is much better than the other. Wherefore? For many reasons. For if it is better not to marry at all than to marry, much more in this case. “But some, you say, could not endure widowhood, and have fallen into many misfortunes.” Yes; because they know not what widowhood is. For it is not widowhood to be exempt from a second marriage, as neither is it virginity to be altogether unmarried. For as “that which is comely,” and “that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction,” is the mark of the one state, so it is the mark of the other to be desolate, to “continue in supplications and prayers,” to renounce luxury and pleasure. For “she that lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.” If remaining a widow, you would have the same pomp, the same show, the same attire, as you had while your husband was living, it were better for you to marry. For it is not the union that is objectionable, but the multitude of cares that attend it. But that which is not wrong, thou dost not: but that which is not indifferent, which is liable to blame, in that you involve yourself. On this account “some have turned aside after Satan,” because they have not been able to live properly as widows.

Would you know what a widow is, and what a widow's dignity, hear Paul's account of it. “If she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the Saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.” But when after the death of your husband, you are arrayed in the same pomp of wealth, no wonder if you can not support widowhood. Transfer this wealth, therefore, to heaven, and you will find the burden of widowhood tolerable. But, you say, what if I have children to succeed to their father's inheritance? Instruct them also to despise riches. Transfer your own possessions, reserving for them just a sufficiency. Teach them too to be superior to riches. But what if besides my silver and gold, I am surrounded by a crowd of slaves, oppressed by a multitude of affairs, how shall I be equal to the care of all these things, when deprived of the support of my husband? This is but an excuse, a pretense, as appears from many causes. For if you do not deserve wealth, nor seek to increase your present possessions, your burden will be light. To get riches is much more laborious than to take care of them. If therefore you cut off this one thing, accumulating, and suppliest the needy out of your substance, God will hold over you His protecting hand. And if you say this from a real desire to preserve the inheritance of your fatherless children, and art not, under this pretense, possessed with covetousness; He who searches the heart knows how to secure their riches, even He who commanded you to bring up children.

For it is not possible, indeed it is not, that a house established by almsgiving should suffer any calamity. If it should be unfortunate for a time, in the end it will prosper. This will be more than spear and shield to all the household. Hear what the devil says concerning Job. “Have you not made an hedge about him and about his house, and about all that he has on every side?” Wherefore? Hear Job himself saying, “I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame. I was a father to the orphans.” As he who does not turn aside from the calamities of others, will not suffer even in his own misfortunes, because he has learned to sympathize; so he who will not bear the griefs of sympathy, will learn all sorrow in his own person. And, as in the case of a bodily disease, if, when the foot is mortified, the hand does not sympathize by cleansing the wound, washing away the discharge, and applying a plaster, it will suffer the like disease of its own; so she who will not minister to another when she is not herself afflicted, will have to bear sufferings of her own. For the evil spreading from the other part will reach to this also, and the question will not be of ministering to the other, but of its own cure and relief. So it is here also. He that will not relieve others, will be a sufferer himself. “You have hedged him in,” says Satan, “within and without,” and I dare not attack him! But he suffered afflictions, you say. True. But those afflictions were the occasion of great good. His substance was doubled, his reward increased, his righteousness enlarged, his crown was splendid, his prize glorious. Both his spiritual and temporal blessings were augmented. He lost his children, but he received, not these restored, but others in their room, and those too he had safe for the Resurrection. Had they been restored, the number would have been diminished, but now having given others in their stead, He will present them also at the Resurrection. All these things happened to him, because of his openhandedness in almsgiving. Let us then do likewise, that we may obtain the same rewards by the grace and lovingkindness of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.