Homilies on the Gospel of John

“But they are in doubt”; although conscious to themselves of nothing evil; but they deemed the declaration of Christ more to be believed than their own thoughts. Wherefore they “looked one on another.”

By laying the whole upon one, Jesus would have cut short their fear, but by adding, “one of you,” He troubled all. What then? The rest looked upon one another; but the ever fervent Peter “beckons” to John. Since he had been before rebuked, and when Christ desired to wash him would have hindered Him, and since he is everywhere found moved indeed by love, yet blamed; being on this account afraid, he neither kept quiet, nor did he speak, but wished to gain information by means of John. But it is a question worth asking, why when all were distressed, and trembling, when their leader was afraid, John like one at ease leans on Jesus' bosom, and not only leans, but even (lies) on His breast? Nor is this the only thing worthy of enquiry, but that also which follows. What is that? What he says of himself, “Whom Jesus loved.” Why did no one else say this of himself? Yet the others were loved too. But he more than any. And if no other has said this about him, but he about himself, it is nothing wonderful. Paul too does the same, when occasion calls, saying thus, “I knew a man fourteen years ago”; yet in fact he has gone through other no trifling praises of himself. Seems it to you a small thing that, when he had heard, “Follow Me,” he straightway left his nets, and his father, and followed; and that Christ took him alone with Peter into the mountain, and another time again when He went into a house? What high praise also has he himself passed on Peter without concealment, telling us that Christ said, “Peter, do you love Me more than these?”, and everywhere he shows him warm, and nobly disposed towards himself; for instance, when he said, “Lord, and what shall this man do?” he spoke from great love. But why did no other say (this) concerning him? Because he would not himself have said it, unless he had come to this passage. For if after telling us that Peter beckoned to John to ask, he had added nothing more, he would have caused considerable doubt, and have compelled us to enquire into the reason. In order therefore himself to solve this difficulty, he says, “He lay on the bosom of Jesus.” Do you think that you have learned a little thing when you have heard that “he lay,” and that their Master allowed such boldness to them? If you desire to know the cause of this, the action was of love; wherefore he says, “Whom Jesus loved.” I suppose also that John does this for another reason, as wishing to show that he was exempt from the charge and so he speaks openly and is confident. Again, why did he use these words, not at any other point of time, but only when the chief of the Apostles beckoned? That you might not deem that Peter beckoned to him as being greater, he says that the thing took place because of the great love (which Jesus bare him). But why does he even lie on His bosom? They had not as yet formed any high surmises concerning Him; besides, in this way He calmed their despondency; for it is probable that at this time their faces were overclouded. If they were troubled in their souls, much more would they be so in their countenances. Soothing them therefore by word and by the question, He makes a way beforehand, and allows him to lean on His breast. Observe too his modesty; he mentions not his own name, but, “whom He loved.” As also Paul, when he said, “I knew a man about fourteen years ago.” Now for the first time Jesus convicted the traitor, but not even now by name; but how?