Homilies on the Gospel of St. Matthew

³ “He that loves father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loves son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that takes not his cross and follows after me, is not worthy of me.”

Do you see a teacher's dignity? Do you see, how He signifies himself a true Son of Him that begot Him, commanding us to let go all things beneath, and to take in preference the love of Him?

“And why speak I,” says He, “of friends and kinsmen? Even if it be your own life which you prefer to my love, your place is far from my disciples.” What then? Are not these things contrary to the Old Testament? Far from it, rather they are very much in harmony therewith. For there too He commands not only to hate the worshippers of idols, but even to stone them; and in Deuteronomy again, admiring these, He says, “Who said unto his father, and to his mother, I have not seen you; neither did he acknowledge his brethren, and his own sons he disowned: he kept Your oracles.” And if Paul gives many directions touching parents, commanding us to obey them in all things, marvel not; for in those things only does he mean us to obey, as many as do not hinder godliness. For indeed it is a sacred duty to render them all other honors: but when they demand more than is due, one ought not to obey. For this reason Luke says, “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple;” not commanding simply to hate them, since this were even quite contrary to the law; but “when one desires to be loved more than I am, hate him in this respect. For this ruins both the beloved himself, and the lover.” And these things He said, both to render the children more determined, and to make the fathers more gentle, that would hinder them. For when they saw He had such strength and power as to sever their children from them, they, as attempting things impossible, would even desist. Wherefore also He leaves the fathers, and addresses His discourse to the children, instructing the former not to make the attempt, as attempting things impracticable.

Then lest they should be indignant, or count it hard, see which way He makes His argument tend: in that having said, “Who hates not father and mother,” He adds, “and his own life.” For why do you speak to me of parents, says He, and brothers, and sisters, and wife? Nothing is nearer than the life to any man: yet if you hate not this also, you must bear in all things the opposite of his lot who loves me.

And not even simply to hate it was His command, but so as to expose it to war, and to battles, and to slaughters, and blood. “For he that bears not his cross, and comes after me, cannot be my disciple.” Thus He said not merely that we must stand against death, but also against a violent death; and not violent only, but ignominious too.

And He discourses nothing as yet of His own passion, that when they had been for a time instructed in these things, they might more easily receive His word concerning it. Is there not, therefore, cause for amazement, how on their hearing these things, their soul did not wing its way from the body, the hardships being everywhere at hand, and the good things in expectation? How then did it not flee away? Great was both the power of the speaker, and the love of the hearers. Wherefore though hearing things far more intolerable and galling than those great men, Moses and Jeremiah, they continued to obey, and to say nothing against it.

“He that finds his life,” says He, “shall lose it: and he that loses his life for my sake, shall find it.” Do you see how great the damage to such as love it unduly? How great the gain to them that hate it? I mean, because the injunctions were disagreeable, when He was bidding them set themselves against parents, and children, and nature, and kindred, and the world, and their very soul, He sets forth the profit also, being very great. Thus, “These things,” says He, “so far from harming, will very greatly profit; and their opposites will injure;” urging them, as He ever does, by the very things which they desire. For why are you willing to despise your life? Because you love it? Then for that very reason despise it, and so you will advantage it in the highest degree, and do the part of one that loves it.

And mark an instance of unspeakable consideration. For not in respect of our parents only does He practise this reasoning, nor of our children, but with regard to our life, which is nearer than all; that the other point may thenceforth become unquestionable, and they may learn that they will in this way profit those of their kindred likewise, as much as may be; since so it is in the case even of our life, which is more essential to us than all.