8 “Well,” says one, “and what do you require us to do? To occupy the mountains, and become monks?” Why it is this which makes me sigh, that you think them alone to be properly concerned with decency and chastity; and yet assuredly Christ made His laws common to all. Thus, when He says, “if any one look on a woman to lust after her,” He speaks not to the solitary, but to him also that has a wife; since in fact that mount was at that time filled with all kinds of persons of that description. Form then in your mind an image of that amphitheatre, and hate this, which is the devil's. Neither condemn the severity of my speech. For I neither “forbid to marry,” nor hinder your taking pleasure; but I would have this be done in chastity, not with shame, and reproach, and imputations without end. I do not make it a law that you are to occupy the mountains and the deserts, but to be good and considerate and chaste, dwelling in the midst of the city. For in fact all our laws are common to the monks also, except marriage; yea rather, even with respect to this, Paul commands us to put ourselves altogether on a level with them; saying, “For the fashion of this world passes away:” that “they that have wives be as though they had none.”
“Wherefore” (so he speaks) “I do not bid you take possession of the summits of the mountains; it is true I could wish it, since the cities imitate the things that were done in Sodom; nevertheless, I do not enforce this. Abide, having house and children and wife; only do not insult your wife, nor put your children to shame, neither bring into your house the infection from the theatre.” Do you not hear Paul saying, “The husband has not power of his own body, but the wife,” and setting down laws common to both? But you, if your wife be continually thrusting herself into a public assembly, art severe in blaming her; but yourself, spending whole days on public shows, you do not account worthy of blame. Yea, touching your wife's modesty you are so strict as even to go beyond necessity or measure, and not to allow her so much as indispensable absences; but to yourself you deem all things lawful. Yet Paul allows you not, who gives the wife likewise the same authority, for thus he speaks: “Let the husband render unto the wife due honor.” What sort of honor then is this, when you insult her in the chiefest things, and givest up her body to harlots (for your body is hers); when you bring tumults and wars into your house, when you do in the market place such things, as being related by yourself to your wife at home, overwhelm her with shame, and put to shame also your daughter if present, and more than them, surely, yourself? For you must necessarily either be silent, or behave yourself so unseemly, that it would be just for your very servants to be scourged for it. What plea then will you have, I pray you, beholding, as you do, with great eagerness, things which even to name is disgraceful; preferring to all sights these, which even to recount is intolerable?
Now then for a season, in order not to be too burdensome, I will here bring my discourse to an end. But if you continue in the same courses, I will make the knife sharper, and the cut deeper; and I will not cease, till I have scattered the theatre of the devil, and so purified the assembly of the Church. For in this way we shall both be delivered from the present disgrace, and shall reap the fruit of the life to come, by the grace and love towards man of our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom be glory and might for ever and ever. Amen.
Source: Homilies on the Gospel of St. Matthew (New Advent)