14 But not only do I now admonish the evil speakers; but those besides, who hear others ill spoken of, I exhort to stop up their ears, and to imitate the prophet who says, “Whoso privily slanders his neighbour, him will I punish.” Say to your neighbour, “Have you any one to praise or highly to commend? I open my ears, to receive the fragrant oil; but if you have any evil to say, I block up the entrance to your words—for I am not to admit dung and dirt. What profit does it afford me to learn that such a one is a bad man? The greatest injury indeed results from this, and the worst loss!” Say to him, “Let us be anxious about our own faults; how we may render up an account of our own transgressions; and exhibit this sort of curiosity and meddlesome activity respecting our own lives. What excuse or pardon shall we find; while we never even take into consideration our own affairs, but thus inquisitively pry into those of others!” And as it is mean and extremely disgraceful to peer into a house, and to observe what is within as one passes, so also to make inquisition into another man's life is the last degree of illiberality. But what is yet more ridiculous is, that those who lead this sort of life, and are neglectful of their own affairs, when they have mentioned any of these secret matters, beseech and adjure him who has heard it, not to mention it more to any other person; thus making it plain that they have done an action which deserves censure. For if you beseech him to tell this to no other person, much more did it not become you to tell these things first to him. The matter was safe while in your possession; now, after betraying it, you are grown anxious for its safety. If you are desirous that it be not carried abroad to another, do not yourself tell it. But when you have betrayed the custody of the matter to another, you do what is superfluous and useless, in charging him, and putting him on oath for the safety of what has been spoken.
15. “But it is sweet to slander.” Nay, it is sweet not to speak evil. For he that has spoken evil is henceforth contentious; he is suspicious and he fears, repents, and gnaws his own tongue. Being timorous and trembling, lest at any time, what he said should be carried to others, and bring great peril, and useless and needless enmity, on the sayer. But he who keeps the matter to himself, will spend his days in safety, with much pleasantness. “You have heard a word,” we read, “let it die with you; and be bold; it will not burst you.” What is the meaning of this? “let it die with you?” Extinguish it; bury it; neither permit it to go forth, nor even to move at all; but, as the best course, be careful not to tolerate others in the practice of evil speaking. And should you perchance, at any time receive an impression from it, bury it, destroy what has been uttered, deliver it over to oblivion; in order that you may become like those who have not heard it; and spend the present life with much peace and security. Should the slanderers learn that we abhor them more than those do whom they accuse, they themselves will henceforth abandon this evil habit, and correct the sin; and will afterwards applaud, and proclaim us as those who were their saviours and benefactors. For, as to speak well, and to applaud, is the beginning of friendship, so to speak ill and to calumniate, has been the beginning and foundation of enmity, and hatred, and a thousand quarrels. From nothing else have our own affairs been more neglected, than from the habit of prying into and meddling with the concerns of others; for it is not possible for one who is given to evil speaking, and busying himself with other men's lives, ever to look after his own life. His whole study being expended upon meddling with other men's matters, all those which belong to himself must of necessity be left at hazard and neglected. For it is well if one who spends all his leisure on the anxious consideration of his own sins, and the judgment of them, can make any progress. But when you are always busy about other men's matters, when will you pay any heed to your own evils?
Source: Homilies on the Statues (New Advent)